Statuesque

The patient's mother brought her in to "rule out seizures". The patient was a 5 year old girl, singing, smiling, interactive. When asked why she was worried the girl was seizing, mom said, "She keeps telling me she feels like a statue." "Is she shaking? Staring into space?" "No," mom replied. "She says she feels like a statue." I asked her if the child was still talking and moving when she was feeling like a statue. Indeed, she was. "Do you feel like a statue right now?" I asked. She answered in the affirmative with a nod of the head and a big smile. After a full neurological exam, which included watching her walk and skip around the Emergency Department, I told mom that I didn't think she was having seizures. "Then why does she say she feels like a statue?!" asked mom. "I think she's just being 5. She has an active imagination." Silence from mom. She clearly didn't believe me. I explained that a seizure workup is beyond the purview of the ED and offered to give her the name of a pediatric neurologist. She took the neurologist's name and when she gets to that office, I'm sure he'll wonder what kind of idiot ER doctor sent her.