TV star

Another humiliating experience last week. A patient's sister referred to me as Doogie Howser every time I entered the room. I just laughed at first, then toned it down to a smile, and finally told her that I was 40 years old, not 15 (in fact, I am neither 40 nor 15). "Well, you look like a little girl! Are you really a doctor?" It took all my strength not to say that I was a doctor who was prone to intubating and chemically paralyzing people who tease me.

As a resident, many years ago, I was suturing up a large laceration on the arm of a patient who was in police custody. He had sustained the injury when he attempted to climb a barbed-wire fence to avoid arrest. (Note to self- only climb smooth fences when running from the cops.) The patient's other arm was handcuffed to the stretcher, so the officer felt comfortable walking in and out of the room. He kept peering at my work and finally said, "Do you know what you're doing?" I assured him that I did. He walked out for a few minutes, came back in and said, "Are you sure you're doing that right?" Again, I answered yes. Ten minutes later, "Does that look right to you?" I laid down my suture materials and calmly said, "Everyone in this room who has graduated from medical school, raise your hand. It looks like I'm the only one, so we'll continue to do it my way." He didn't bother me again and the patient/prisoner couldn't stop grinning.